Bella is a member of the RNA’s new writer’s scheme. She has recently finished her first novel, Acting on Impulse and she’s represented by The Kate Nash Agency. She lives with her husband, daughter and a deaf geriatric cat.
Every fortnight, Bella will be sharing tales and experiences from her writing journey.
My last post was about what title you should have if you are a person who puts pen to paper (see how well I avoided the whole writer/author debate there?) and it got me thinking.
You can call yourself whatever you like but at the end of the day (sorry that was very corporate speak – apologies) it doesn’t matter what you call yourself but it does matter what you do.
I can tell you have that stunned mullet expression again so please let me explain. If you are a singer then you sing, if you are a saxophonist then you play the saxophone, if you are a runner then you run – I think you’ve got the hang of what I’m trying to say. So if you are an ink slinger or writer working under some other title then what you need to be doing is writing.
I own a Saxophone. It is a beautiful instrument and it lives in a lovely leather case in my loft. I bought it on a whim, as I had always wanted to play one. Little did I know how hard it was and therefore how much time and dedication would be required to achieve this. So I may own a saxophone, but I am most definitely not a saxophonist.
Someone once introduced himself as being a drummer. I was obviously impressed and immediately scrutinized their features for anything familiar, perhaps they had played with world famous artists, been on stage with great legends or even been part of a well known group. However, on further questioning it appeared that he had had a short stint in a local band three years before but was now working in an office, although he was still very ‘into’ music. I asked further if the band was still together and no it wasn’t. I asked if he still had the drums, which he did and if he played them to which his response was , ‘no, not really. I don’t have the time’. Which all begs the question as to whether or not he is a drummer – in mind he is not. I know that sounds harsh but think about it…
“Are you busy?” asks my husband.
“I’m doing research,” I reply.
Dictionary definition of ‘research’ – investigation esp scientific study to discover facts.
Reality of my ‘research’ –
• Type in key words to Google
• Follow first link
• Read and jot down a couple of interesting and informative facts on subject for novel
• See link to something unrelated but interesting – click
• An hour later realise you are watching funny cat videos again
• Try to find original Google search results on one of ridiculous number of open tabs
• Get distracted by Facebook update from friend, follow link to quiz…
• Notice another hour has disappeared
• Get a cup of tea and give self a good talking to about time-wasting
• Close down distracting tabs and stare at Google page – what was I researching again?
Whilst watching cats on the internet is highly entertaining it really is not moving my novel forward. I am particularly liking animal photo bombs at the moment. However, the reality is that even with all the distractions I know I can find out what I need to know and a million other things in a nanosecond (assuming I can stay focused for that long!)
I ragged my holiday – well not exactly.
Any of you lovely people who have read my column before may have picked up the fact that sometimes I quite like to plan things. Okay, maybe it’s a bit more than sometimes and perhaps I really like it… Okay! I admit it I have to plan things and I love it – there are you happy now?
So it should be no surprise that when it comes to holidays these too are planned. I am very proud to say that all of 2015’s holidays were booked by October 2014 and 2016’s main holiday is in the bag. (Smug grin). Now usually that would be sufficient but this year things are a little different, this year we are going to Walt Disney World in Florida and it is a return visit so we have the benefit of our ‘Lessons Learned’ from our trip three years ago (dusts off file).
My husband was not surprised when I counted out the days on the calendar and placed reminders at 180 days before our holiday (that’s when you can make Disney Dining reservations), 60 days before (that’s when you can book your Fastpass Plus times for specific rides you want to go on), up to 30 days before you can customize your Magicband (a very clever bracelet that is your room key, your park entry ticket, your Fastpass Plus selections and a contactless wallet so you can tap and pay and it charges to your credit card!)
Husband and child were not surprised when a spreadsheet was produced that detailed all the information that had been booked and noted down reference numbers and the outcomes of the family discussions we had held e.g. what was our top priority at Universal? Character breakfast with Winnie the Pooh or Lilo and Stitch? Fireworks at Epcot or Magic Kingdom? (Answers were Minions, Lilo and Stitch and Epcot – I voted for Harry Potter but was outvoted – glum face).
My new claim to fame is that I have had a conversation with Mr Kipling about cakes. Not a dream, but a real life exchange with the real Mr Kipling. (Well, possibly not the real Mr Kipling because I don’t think there ever actually was a Mr Kipling who made the cakes – sorry if I’ve just shattered a fantasy).
Anyway, I love Twitter. Where else can you have a conversation with Mr Kipling? You see you really don’t know do you? ‘Mr Kipling’ (see I’ve put it in inverted commas just to prove that I know it’s not an actual person) asked me what type of Mr Kipling cake my book would be! Well, I was obviously thrilled but also a bit scared by the question.
Have you any idea how many different types of cake, slice and tart ‘Mr Kipling’ produces? Well it’s about twenty-six, which is more than enough to look through when you are put on the spot to decide which one your book is! This is the one only time I wished there was one of those silly questionnaires – ‘What type of Mr Kipling cake are you?’ but no, there’s never one when you need one is there?
Now, it is true, that there is a smidgeon of a chance that I over thought this one and that a complete review of all the Mr Kipling cake types alongside my story synopses was not essential but I had been asked a question and I wanted to give a thought through answer. The first Mr Kipling cake that popped into my head was French Fancy – yours too? How strange? Anyway, my book does have a couple of scenes in Paris but it is definitely not a French Fancy. Now don’t get me wrong, when the mood takes me I enjoy a French Fancy as much as the next person but it’s not my first choice and it’s not right for my book. My book simply isn’t that sweet.