Book Extract: Bob & Shirley’s Guide To Murder by Suzy K Quinn

Please join me in welcoming Suzy K Quinn to Novel Kicks and the blog tour for her book, Bob and Shirley’s Guide to Murder.

Bob and Shirley run a lovely country pub. They also solve murders …

A warmly funny, gloriously British cozy crime and murder mystery series that can be read as standalones or part of a series. Set in a village where the pub is the heart of country life and served with warmth, wit and a very good Sunday roast.

“Murder? In our quiet, little English village?

Great Oakley is a place of hanging baskets, tearooms and riverside walks. We’ve won ‘Britain’s safest village’ 10 years running. I keep three pound coins, a box of toffees and a bottle of Pepto-Bismol on my dashboard at all times, and I’ve never needed to lock my car.

Certainly, Bevvy Hogg was disliked. She ran the local Waist Watchers group, yet came to our pub for fish and chips, treacle tart and a bottle of Chardonnay every Friday. But I don’t think she was murdered …”

When Bevvy Hogg is found dead in the Goose and Gander pub garden, with an empty treacle tart plate beside her and several dress sizes slimmer than anyone remembers, Great Oakley’s winning streak as Britain’s safest village comes to an abrupt end.

Suzy has shared an extract with us today. We hope you enjoy. 

*****beginning of extract*****

Bob and Shirley run the Goose and Gander pub in the Suffolk village of Great Oakley. When Bevvy Hogg, leader of the local Waist Watchers slimming group, is found dead in their pub garden, several dress sizes smaller than anyone remembers, the pair start investigating.

In this scene, Bob and Shirley go undercover at a Waist Watchers meeting. Bob is a fitness fanatic with absolutely no tact. Shirley is a larger lady who considers weighing scales the enemy of happiness. It goes about as well as you would expect.

Bob

The Waist Watchers meeting was certainly an experience. The logic baffled me. How do people think that sitting around, talking about food, will help them lose weight? It would be far better to spend their evenings having a long walk, which would not only burn off calories but also improve their moods.

Jade welcomed us with a ‘red light’ forbidden food list to stick on our fridge. It looked broadly similar to Shirley’s daily diet: beer, crisps, cider, wine, chips, butter, lard, pies and pastries.

Then we were ushered to a horseshoe of seats, semi-circling a table of weight-loss shakes, soups and chocolate bars.

We were supposed to ‘listen with two ears’ while others talked about their weekly food intake. But I soon cracked and demanded, ‘What’s this obsession with milky, frothy coffees from overpriced coffee shops? Milk is designed to help young animals put on weight. Obviously, it’s not a sensible choice for dieters. Why not just have a nice cup of tea? It’s much better for you, and also less expensive.’

On reflection, I shouldn’t have voiced my opinions so early on. It wasn’t the best way to build group rapport. In fact, Jade asked me to stop talking after I explained that the artificial sweeteners in her Glow Up shakes were scientifically proven to make you crave more sugary food.

At one point, Carol Armstrong started talking about Christmas Day. Was it a cheat day for everyone? she wanted to know. Because she always ate three chocolate croissants and a full-English breakfast on Christmas morning, and drank Baileys Irish Cream from 11am onwards.

I politely cleared my throat and said our family celebrated the true meaning of Christmas with church, prayers, a shared meal with family and the King’s Speech on television.

‘Over-consumption is not what Christmas is about,’ I said.

Of course, Shirley had to interrupt me.

‘What are you talking about, Bob?’ she said. ‘You’re the only one who goes to church. The rest of us spend the morning sitting around in our pyjamas and a sea of wrapping paper, eating bacon sandwiches and drinking prosecco.’

Then Shirley told the group about a Christmas drinking game she and our daughters play, which involves putting a Santa hat on the television and drinking every time someone appears beneath it. Mystifyingly, her story was welcomed by the weight-loss group, who shared drinking games of their own.

It was the only point in the evening when I saw people taking notes.

The lack of logic drove me mad. One woman asked if cutting up food into small pieces meant fewer calories. Another asked if eating standing up was better for weight loss.

Towards the end of the meeting, I’d had enough.

‘Sitting down. Standing up. Cutting food into small pieces. It doesn’t make any difference,’ I announced. ‘Eat less and exercise more. It’s as simple as that.’

That’s when they asked me to leave. This rather curtailed the investigation.

Shirley

Bob was a huge embarrassment. Thank god I was at that Waist Watchers meeting, otherwise we wouldn’t have got any information at all.

It just goes to show there’s a difference between book smart and actually smart. My husband has all sorts of qualifications, yet fails to understand how to speak tactfully around people who want to lose weight.

Bob left before the weigh-in, so he missed the drama there. The dieters divested themselves of shoes, socks, jewellery, watches, jumpers and, in one case, a wig, so they could get their best possible weight on the scales.

I didn’t bother getting weighed. As a larger lady, avoiding weighing scales is the best route to happiness I’ve ever found. That, and cancelling medicals at the doctors. I may be overweight, but at least I’m not overweight and miserable.

Once the weigh-in had finished, I accepted a cup of tea and made a faux pas. I took five Waist Watchers chocolate-chip cookies.

It was only after I’d munched three of them that I noticed the horrified expressions of my fellow group members.

‘We’re only allowed one cookie each, Shirley,’ Jade gasped.

‘But these cookies are tiny,’ I said. ‘We’re not children.’

‘The cookies are portioned out, Shirley,’ said Jade. ‘One per member.’

I noticed Waist Watchers members eyeing up the half-empty cookie plate with sad, desperate eyes.

I felt duty-bound to make things right.

‘How about I get a chocolate fudge cake from the pub?’ I suggested. ‘John Boy baked a fresh one today, ready for the week. It’s in the fridge. I just need to heat it up. I can bring cream, too.’

Jade looked horrified. ‘Chocolate fudge cake, Shirley?’ she said. ‘With cream. There’ll be a stampede. I’m not insured.’

When I left, the group were chewing powdery chocolate with the resigned faces of prisoners.

*****end of extract*****

About Suzy K Quinn –

Suzy K Quinn (hello – it’s me!) is writing this bio in the third person. Which feels duplicitous and also a little egotistical. But here goes …

Suzy K Quinn writes book club books and murder mystery series, and has sold over 1 million copies worldwide. She’s a bestselling author in the US, UK and Germany and will soon, very possibly, have written more books than she’s read.

Suzy lives in Wivenhoe, Essex, with her husband and two daughters. She is a twin, an incompetent parent of two and now fully decaffeinated. Her twin sister, Cate Quinn, is also a bestseller author. When Suzy isn’t writing in cafes, she is walking around woods dictating like a lunatic.

Suzy loves her readers and is ALWAYS happy to chat on Facebook, TikTok, Instagram, X and Threads. You can also get a free book at her website. 

Bob and Shirley’s Guide to Murder is book one in the Bob and Shirley’s Cozy Mystery/Murder Mystery series. Click to buy on Amazon UK and Amazon US. 

*****

Win An E-Copy Of Bob & Shirley’s Killer Cuppa Puzzle. 

One of Great Oakley’s five open gardens served poisoned tea. Can you work out which one before Bob does?

‘Like Murdle and a cozy mystery rolled into one.’

Murder mystery logic puzzle stories for fans of The Killer Isn’t Alice, Murdle and Can You Solve the Murder?

These are ‘Puzzlories’. Read them like stories, solve them like puzzles. Each one takes about an hour to read and solve.

It’s Open Gardens weekend in Great Oakley. Five gardeners have opened their gardens to the public, and each is offering a unique drink, cake, flower and interesting garden feature to their fellow villagers.

Unfortunately, one garden owner poured poisoned tea. Probably not on purpose. But you never know. There are more murders in Britain’s safest village than you might imagine.

Village pub landlady Shirley Duffy visited all five open gardens before returning to the Goose and Gander for a much-needed beer and a sit down. One of those five gardens was the scene of the crime.

The trouble is, Shirley’s memory is known to be … selective. She can remember every cake she’s eaten since 1987, but not necessarily when and where she ate it. And she can’t remember which garden served tea on Saturday afternoon.

Shirley’s husband, Bob, is frustrated that Shirley can’t remember one garden from another. But he finds many things about his wife frustrating, and loves her anyway.

As Bob presses Shirley for details, the clues pile up. Your job is to note them down and work out who served the tea before Bob does.

Twenty clues, one in every short chapter. Fill in your detective’s grid, cross off your suspects and name the poisoner.

Grab your notebook, put the kettle on (carefully) and see if you can beat Bob to the answer.

If you fancy winning this, click on this link for details on how to enter. This is open internationally.

*Terms and Conditions –

Worldwide entries welcome.  Please enter using the Gleam link above. 

The winner will be selected at random via Gleam from all valid entries and will be notified by Twitter and/or email. If no response is received within 7 days then Rachel’s Random Resources reserves the right to select an alternative winner. Open to all entrants aged 18 or over.  Any personal data given as part of the competition entry is used for this purpose only and will not be shared with third parties, with the exception of the winners’ information. This will passed to the giveaway organiser and used only for fulfilment of the prize, after which time Rachel’s Random Resources will delete the data.

I (Novel Kicks) am not responsible for despatch or delivery of the prize.

by

Laura

I'm Laura. I started Novel Kicks back in 2009 as I wanted a place to discuss books and writing - two loves of my life. As someone who has anxiety, these two things give me, and I am sure countless others, a much needed escape.
There is a monthly book club, writing exercises, prompts, reviews, author interviews, competitions and guest posts. I cover many genres and I hope there is something for everyone.
I grew up by the sea in Dorset and currently live in Poole with my husband, Chris and three cats. I love writing and have a BA (Hons) in Creative Writing from Falmouth University. I am writing my first book. If only I could stop pressing delete. Chris has threatened to stop it from working. Haha.
I have always loved creative writing since I was in first school and would very much like to meet my teacher, Miss Sayers, to say thank you for all the encouragement she gave me then.
When not writing, I love reading, cats, Disney, singing (I can't sing but this doesn't stop me,) and falling into a good TV show or film. If I could step into any fictional world, it would be amongst the characters in ABC's Once Upon a Time.
I love reading many genres and discovering new authors.