Book Extract: The Retired Assassin’s Guide to Orchid Hunting by Naomi Kuttner

Please join me in welcoming Naomi Kuttner to Novel Kicks and the blog tour for her book, The Retired Assassin’s Guide to Orchid Hunting.

Assassin. Gardener. Reluctant cat adoptee.

All Dante wants is to be left alone in the small New Zealand town no one’s heard of. No drama. No bodies. No questions. But then, of course, the orchid convention comes to town, and Dante is knee deep in suspects, intrigue, and red herrings.

On top of all this, Dante must navigate a mysterious woman from his past, cat issues, and the terrifying prospect of a first date. And he has to do it while fighting his instinct to solve problems the old-fashioned way: permanently.

The ‘Retired Assassin’s Guide to Orchid Hunting’ is a cosy paranormal mystery with found family, ghosts, a grumpy assassin and a sunshine gardener.

Come for the murder, stay for the cat, the gardens, and the New Zealand country charm.

Naomi has shared an extract with us today. We hope you enjoy it. 

*****beginning of extract*****

In which Dante grapples with moral ambiguity.

Dante drew the blinds, checked the room for any details that might identify his location, and sat at his desk in his front parlour. It was time for a weekly Thursday meeting he’d attended without fail for the last six months.

Under the desk, his fingers wrapped around the handle of his Glock 17. He let out a slow breath, chasing the inner calm his therapist had said this would bring. His fingers tightened around the stippled grip of the gun, the polymer plastic cool against his palm.

The cat butted its head against his calf, and Dante’s pulse slowed. His focus drew inwards to a single point as his shoulders relaxed. It was time.

Dante keyed the connection, and the screen of his computer flared to life. Looking back at him were four faces: John, Aubrey, Jasmine, and Frankie. Four retired assassins, four members of Assassins Anonymous, four killers doing their level best to keep their days homicide free.

Dante found that some days this came more easily than others.

“Hello,” said Dante. “My name is Dante, and I am an assassin.”

The group chorused through their greetings, but Dante couldn’t help noticing a missing face: Caleb. He had been Jasmine’s sponsor, and Dante wondered what had happened. His speculation was cut short by John getting down to business.

“I’m sure you’ve all noticed that Caleb is missing,” said John.

There were nods of agreement around the group.

John laced his fingers together. “I’m still piecing together the picture. At this point, it looks like Caleb encountered some interested parties from past contracts.”

Frankie pursed his lips in a silent whistle, Jasmine looked sympathetic, and Aubrey winced. Dante took this to mean that the family of someone Caleb had killed had come seeking vengeance.

“Caleb has gone off grid for the time being,” said John. “He’ll rejoin us when he’s ready, I imagine. However, he will have to start his count of homicide-free days again.”

“That’s rough,” said Aubrey, his thick black eyebrows drawing together.

“People can be so judgmental,” said Jasmine.

“A guy’s gotta do what a guy’s gotta do,” said Frankie. He held up his hands in a placating gesture. “I get that we’re turning over new leaves and all. But what if it was just him or you? Just the two of you, and no one would ever know.”

John steepled his fingers. “No one would know? You would know. And he would know.”

“But he’d be dead,” said Frankie.

John’s eyes were calm. “That is the core of our work here. Who are you, when no one else is watching? What would you do if you knew you could get away with it?”

Frankie, the ex-hitman, wrinkled his forehead. “I done a lot of things and got away with it. I mean, there’s all those people I whacked.”

*****end of extract*****

About Naomi Kuttner –  

Naomi is a writer living in New Zealand.

When not busy writing or raising her twin son and daughter, she spends her free time (ha!) surfing, kitesurfing, and retrieving her shoes from Max the dog.

Say hi to Naomi via her website, Goodreads, Facebook and Instagram. 

The Retired Assassin’s Guide to Orchid Hunting is book two in the Retired Assassin’s Guide series and was released in December 2025. Click to buy on Amazon UK and Amazon US. 

by

Laura

I'm Laura. I started Novel Kicks back in 2009 as I wanted a place to discuss books and writing - two loves of my life. As someone who has anxiety, these two things give me, and I am sure countless others, a much needed escape.
There is a monthly book club, writing exercises, prompts, reviews, author interviews, competitions and guest posts. I cover many genres and I hope there is something for everyone.
I grew up by the sea in Dorset and currently live in Poole with my husband, Chris and three cats. I love writing and have a BA (Hons) in Creative Writing from Falmouth University. I am writing my first book. If only I could stop pressing delete. Chris has threatened to stop it from working. Haha.
I have always loved creative writing since I was in first school and would very much like to meet my teacher, Miss Sayers, to say thank you for all the encouragement she gave me then.
When not writing, I love reading, cats, Disney, singing (I can't sing but this doesn't stop me,) and falling into a good TV show or film. If I could step into any fictional world, it would be amongst the characters in ABC's Once Upon a Time.
I love reading many genres and discovering new authors.