Novel Kicks Writing Room: Edit, Edit, Edit

For today’s exercise, I wanted to look at editing. 

Rewrite the following passage. Write up to 500 words. Try making it less passive, adding more emotion and details.

How did you find it?

*****

 

Mark goes into the flat and he sat down. 

It had not changed much since he’d left a year ago. 

He listened to Beth, getting the tea ready in the kitchen, She didn’t know what he was going to say to her. 

She carried the tray in and handed him a mug. His favourite mug. 

She sat opposite him, looking at him expectantly .

 

*****

 

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Laura
I’m Laura. I started Novel Kicks in 2009. I wanted a place to post my writing as well as give other writers like me the opportunity to do the same. There is also a monthly book club, a writing room which features writing prompts, book reviews, competitions, author interviews and guest posts.

I grew up by the sea (my favourite place in the world) and I currently live in Hampshire. I am married to Chris, have a cat named Buddy and I would love to be a writer. I’m trying to write the novel I’ve talked so much about writing if only I could stop pressing delete. I’ve loved writing since creative writing classes in primary school. I have always wanted to see my teacher Miss Sayers again and thank her for the encouragement. When not trying to write the novel or writing snippets of stories on anything I can get my hands on, I love reading, dancing like a loon and singing to myself very badly. My current obsession is Once Upon a Time and I would be happy to live with magic in the enchanted forest surrounded by all those wonderful stories provided that world also included Harry Potter. I love reading chick lit. contemporary fiction and novels with mystery.

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