Put it this way, there’s currently many adjectives and a lot of telling, not showing.
The thing I have heard many writers say when giving writing advice is to try and put your reader into the scene.
For example, don’t just say I walked up the hall and was scared, but try something like my heart thumped as I crept up the hall, the banging getting louder the closer I got.
I know, not my finest work but hopefully you get my point.
Sit in silence with either your notebook or computer. Set an alarm for five minutes. Try and make a note of all the things you hear, smell, see and how it makes you feel.
Once you’re done, try and apply it to a scene in a current work in progress.
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